


And I'll Miss You Anyway

by AishiCc



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: 2x3x2, M/M, Male Slash, Team as Family, Temporary Amnesia, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2019-08-27 20:19:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16709341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AishiCc/pseuds/AishiCc
Summary: Our memories define who we are without them we are not who we were and nothing can ever make sense as it did. If you lost half or what you were could you move on being half a soul or would you do whatever it takes to get your past back? 2x3x2





	1. Chapter 1

All right as people who know my work know I so do love doing 2x3x2 fics, that pairing just works so well, and people tend to like my Trowa in general. That makes me so happy since I took the Manga and the Anime, and added a bit of humor and there we go. The show never really shows Trowa has a sense of humor, but the Manga does, one time Wufei even yelled at Trowa for laughing too much /sigh. This is why as a writer I try to read as much of the Manga and watch as much of the Anime as I can. Anyway why did I write this fic other then I just LOVE the pairing? What a wonderful question, so happy you asked, the idea had been done to death maybe not here but trust me. Poor pilot loses memory, true love helps get it back, been there seen that right? Well like ‘Death and Silence’ an overly used idea gets a twist by well me…clearly me right? Now anyone who watched the show knows Trowa has a habit of looking over his wounded friends when he can first Heero latter Quatre. Note you can see this in something called ‘Odds and Evens’ I have screen shots, little ones, but I have never seen it.

So Duo gets hurt on a mission and Trowa, already being on Earth, is the first to get there and look over him. Now true Duo doesn’t remember him but Trowa is such a calm guy, and we all know how sweet he can be, Hell I’d trust him on sight. I try to keep it as realistic as I can, my usual embodiments of the pilots and Co are all here, so if you like the way I write them enjoy. Sorry all 1x3x1 and 4x3x4 fans you’ll just have to review my older stuff until I update or post a new one.

**WarNinGs** : Shounen-Ai content, Slight OOCness, Over Used Base Plot, Picking on Duo (Gomen Duo Otaku), Non-Yaoi Cannon Pairings, Slight  Language now and then, anything I forgot.

**Aishi Say**

" _Even if the memories are lost the soul retains its shape_ .” 

Hisui former Angle Master of Air from CLAMP's 'Wish' series.

**I’ll Miss You Anyway**

Duo groaned softly his head really, really, really hurt and he was so not enjoying the experience of waking up. He realized he was in a comfortable bed, which was good, and in his own clothes, which was even better, but where the Hell was he? ‘ _What happened to me this time?…no maybe what hit me would work better? Either way should I even bother trying to get up? Let’s have a little looksy first, then we’ll decide what to do next…yep sounds like a good plan.’_ Bright amethyst eyes opened slowly, and moved just as slowly.  H e was in a large room, which reminded him of a dorm for some reason he just could not place. It was all very nice and expensive looking, but not familiar at all, the various items which litter ed the shelves and various flat surfaces screamed him but he could not place them either. ‘ _That’s alright sever hits to the head can cause temporal memory lost, thank you Television. Now what’s up with this room, did I get hurt at or near some richy rich school? Nah that so doesn’t make any sense…comfy bed at any rate nice and warm…’_

Duo moved his hands over the bed it felt good under his fingers, stopping when they brushed something that felt like very soft cotton, but not the covers. ‘ _Huh?’_ He turned his head to get a better look at just what he had brushed his hand against and blinked, before just staring confused. Sleeping peacefully on ‘his’ swivel chair was a young man he would guess was no older then twenty sitting there, arms folded on the back of the chair. Lose white button down sleeves half rolled up lightly tanned lower arms, long golden brown bangs hanging limply over his arm, eyes whatever their color were closed.

Duo frowned at him in thought his mind working a bit slower than normal, but still working so he was happy. ‘ _Well he sure as Hell ain’t dressed like no preppy snob, but who is he, and why is he here, and sleeping even?’_ He leaned in close studying him as if staring would suddenly jog his memory, but all he came up with were more questions. His current foggy memory could not remember anyone who looked so serene when they slept, and as harmless as the other looked he knew he should be concerned. This guy could have been the one who hurt him, for all he knew, but he ignored that little voice as he brushed his fingers along long spiky bangs curiosity beating out caution. ‘ _His hair is so soft so how does it do that? It’s strange but I_ _kinda_ _like it.’_ He blinked when he noticed the other was looking at him with half open eyes, which happened to be green, which Duo did notice as he jumped back hitting the pillows.

Trowa blinked as he lifted his head, “Duo?” He asked concerned, and too tired to care about hiding anything even a little.

Duo just stared at the stranger for a moment, calming mind focusing on how the other’s eyes seemed to catch the light showing of the subtle touches of various green. ‘ _He knows my name! Who are you?_ _ **God**_ _you have beautiful eyes. Idiot stop staring!’_ Those gentle eyes just watched him concerned, nonchalant about his staring, and Duo began to relax. He could tell from the other’s tone and manner he was a friend, close or not he was not sure, but clearly not a threat. “Sorry a little jumpy,” Duo apologized voice still a bit shaky, but at least his heart was no longer pounding way too fast out of fear.

Trowa nodded use to Duo after being around him as long as he had, “Understandable. Are you all right?”

Duo smiled, the mysterious youth had a very pleasant voice it was easy to talk to him, the fact he was genuinely concern but not fussing was nice too. “Well my head is seriously killing me but everything still works, so yeah, I guess so.”

Trowa allowed himself to smile a bit in relief before talking again, after talking with Sally he had been worried, “Good. You’ve been sleeping for two days now, I would have been here sooner but you know Cathy.”

“ **Two Days**!?” Duo cried gaping at the news, too stunned to think of anything else to say about it just then. ‘ _Two days…well no wonder my head hurts so much that was one bad day. Come sooner, why come at all, and just who is this_ _C_ _athy? Figures someone like that has a girlfriend. Oh stop thinking like that.’_

“Yeah, the others will be here by tonight at the earliest, but I was already here on Earth so.” Trowa shrugged watching Duo, something felt off but he did not have Quatre’s gift, his feeling came from over a decade of fighting. “Are you sure you’re all right Duo? Sally should be by soon to check up on you, but I can go get her if you want?”

“I’m just tired,” Duo felt a pang of guilt over worrying this gentle eyed young man, but there was little else he could do. ‘ _Others? I’m on Earth too? God am I confuse. Sally must be a doctor or whatever, cool I can work with that. What I want is to know what is going on, but thanks for asking anyway.’_

“Hello Trowa,” An older dark blonde haired women greeted the seated youth warmly before turning to Duo and smiled at him. “Welcome back Duo, here these will help with those headaches. Are you hungry?”

Duo took the two pills popping them into his mouth before washing them down. ‘ _Well that’s one little mystery solved you’re name is Trowa…what_ _language_ _is that anyway? Now tell me what’s going on nice lady?’_ “Yes ma’am. Am I  OK Sally?” He took a guess and he caught the briefest of frowns from Trowa, but the other said nothing.

“Well the last of your tests are sitting on my desk, but considering what happened to you you’re just fine.” Sally assured him smiling as she took the glass back and turned to Trowa, who looked up as if excepting an order to follow her movement. “Trowa be a dear and see he stays in bed, there is no reason for him to be moving around, and I would hate to have to strap him down?”

“Sure,” Trowa answered simply, tone a bit more formal then it had been when he had been talking with Duo, and the braided youth wondered a bit about that. Duo bit his lip watching her go, half watching Trowa follow her with his eyes in a very feline manner he had a feeling was perfectly normal. “Something’s wrong,” Trowa accused turning to give him an even stare, he had learned to trust his instincts. Not listening when Heero had tried to warn him had been a mistake, he should have been there for his partner, and he should have listened to his leader, he was careful not to make mistakes that would endanger anyone besides himself.

“Huh?” Duo asked turning to look at him, fidgeting a bit under the other’s unwavering stare.

“You did not recognized Sally you guessed,” Trowa answered tone even, he knew he was right. Duo was good at acting, but he was no good at hiding his cues from people who knew what to look for.

Duo blinked as it dawned on him this guy knew him  _very_ well and was not going to drop this until he was satisfied. ‘ _Who is this guy? Creepy trick there man.’_

“Do you recognize me?” Trowa asked stare softening somewhat, Duo did not need to be glared at, he was still his friend and this was not some interrogation.

Duo was relieved when Trowa ease up on the glaring, but still looked at him wanting an answer. He considered breaking his personal code and lying, but it passed as quickly as it had come. One could only fake it for so long, and to be that worried he dissevered the truth. “No, sorry I don’t,” Head hung as he said it, some part of him felt sick inside like he had stabbed the other in the back. “ _Please_ don’t tell her, I’m scared?” He cried looking up, eyes pleading as he snatched the other’s hand on reflex pleasantly surprised when he did feel better.

Trowa blinked surprised by Duo’s sudden outburst of fear, he had not mean to frighten him, “Duo, Sally can help you.”

Duo shook his head, he knew Sally was a doctor and Trowa had not mean to upset him, but he was still scared. “ _Please_ not yet?” He pleaded, staring up into deep dark eyes, willing  his friend to understand something he himself could not.

Trowa sighed softly closing his eyes for a moment, Quatre used the same look to get him to do what he wanted sometimes, and it would not hurt Duo to wait to tell Sally. “Very well, though I think you are making a mistake not telling her.”

Duo nodded, “Maybe, but I’m _really_ scared here.” Bright eyes watched Trowa, he got the feeling the other was not one to give in easily even to a friend if he felt strongly, it just fit.

“Of her?” Trowa asked blinking, Sally could be very intimidating when she wished, but she was not all that imposing otherwise.

“Um…a little,” Duo admitted frowning at the clear blink of surprise, he felt entitle to a little fear. “Look I don’t know who I am, how I got here…or anything else important right now so I’m scared.” His tone was a bit defensive, and he frowned confused when Trowa nodded absently in agreement.

“I understand,” Trowa assured him, fear was something he remembered quite well and disliked, he was able to control his emotions, fear was a complete loss of that control. Frowning he leaned forward slightly, ever curious mind nagging at him, “Why aren’t you scared of me? You have no memory of me either,” Catherine came to mind he had trusted her without question, even before the so called ‘Zero Incident’. She had felt safe, and when it turned out they were related he had been pleased he had been able to give her back her little brother.

Duo bit his lip looking down, Trowa put so much depth in such a simple question it was intriguing. “You stayed with me, came here to see me, won’t tell on me…I guess.” He looked up meeting dark eyes and smiled a bit, “I just know I can trust you. I know it’s strange, but I get this feeling like you would never hurt me ever.” It had to sound strange, he knew it, but Trowa only smiled a bit at him saying nothing. “Trowa tell me who you are, who am I now, and just what is going on?”

Trowa frowned and decided to ask the simplest question he was thinking of and going form there, “Do you remember your Gundam?”

“My what?” Duo asked, he had never heard of a Gundam, it sounded like a weapon at any rate.

“Hm…what do you remember?” Trowa asked switching tactics, it would easier to fill in the gaps when he knew when they started.

“Well…my home,” Duo answered watching eyes narrow a bit in an almost concerned expression, and he became just a little bit worried.

“The Maxwell Church?” Trowa asked, frowning when Duo nodded looking very much like a child unsure if they were about to be scolded. The calm pilot looked away, he knew what he had to tell him would be a shock, and he hated hurting those he loved and wanted to protect. “Duo you…you’ve lost a decade.”

“A decade?” Duo asked watching green eyes turn back to face him that was a long time, “How long have I known you?” It felt like forever some part of him screamed, like it was on the tip of his tongue, but he did not say it.

“Roughly three years,” Trowa answered tone apologetic, he wished he had more to offer, but the truth was all he had to give.

Duo frowned confused by the tone, none of this was his fault…was it? “And the other seven?” There was a feeling he would not like the answer but he still had to ask, he had always been like that he doubted that had changed.

Trowa sighed softly, “I am sorry Duo but I really do not know. We all talk very little about our pasts, we know about the church, but not much else.” He had never minded not knowing before, he answered any questions he could answer about his, the most common was had he shoot the former Trowa Barton.

Duo was confused by the distant look, but he did not feel right asking him about it. ‘ _Maybe that is just how he looks when he’s helpless. It makes me want to hug him, God_ _**why** _ _must you look that way?’_ “Yeah, well, it hasn’t exactly been all rainbows and sunshine.”

“No it hasn’t,” Trowa agreed softly, “You, Duo Maxwell, are a very complex person.”

Duo smiled knowing a compliment when he heard one, “I have a feeling you are one as well eh Trowa?”

Trowa smiled at Duo’s show of humor, “I am, but that is of little importance. As to who you are now you are a Gundam pilot, and you protect people.”

“Form Leos?” Duo asked ignoring his wish to ask why he felt he was of so little importance, there would be time for that latter.

“From many suits actually,” Trowa half corrected half informed him.

“So I’m a pilot? You one too?” Duo liked the idea of thrashing OZ suits maybe a bit too much, but they had ruined his life, well what he could remember of it. ‘ _Did OZ destroy your innocence too?’_

“Yes,” Trowa answered simply, there was no need to elaborate just then, Duo would ask if he wanted to know.

“A decade…shit that’s over half my life,” Duo felt sick for a moment, over half of who he was just gone the good and the bad.

“Try losing it all?” Trowa suggested half talking to himself softly, cheek on his folded arm frowning when he realized Duo had heard him from his silence.

“Dude, this happened to you too?!” Duo just stared, no wonder he was here and so angry with himself for not being of more help, he had been there.

Trowa nodded lifting his head, “Yes, but I am fine now, you will be too.” Duo felt his hand being gently squeezed reminding him he had never released Trowa’s hand, nor had his been released. ‘ _How did I not notice?’_

“OK now, Duo you need your rest,” Sally informed him walking back into the room, setting down a plate before turning to Trowa, “You come.”

“ **NO**!” Duo cried clinging to Trowa’s arm, startling them both with the force of his protest.

Sally sighed tolerantly, “Now is  _no_ time to act so childish Duo. You need your rest and so does he, now let him go  _right_ now!” She ordered, dark blue eyes warningly serious, hands on her hips, she loved these boys but sometimes she wanted to strangle them.

“No, I don’t want to be all alone!” Duo shivered at the idea, Trowa he knew would protect him, he needed that safe feeling, and he would not just let him go.

Trowa stroked Duo’s hair gently, his grip was painful but he ignored it, the worst Duo could do was bruise him. Looking up to Sally he knew the look Catherine got the same one, “Sally?”

“Trowa no,” Sally said cutting him off, “Duo I _mean_ it now.”

Duo shook his head, “In won’t sleep if you make him leave!”

Sally threw her arms up, “Oh for crying out loud you five.”

“Sally I’m the quite one remember, I’ll make sure he rests all right?” Trowa asked, Duo would not give in, and all this yelling was not helping anyone.

Sally sighed, “Fine, but I will  _not_ fight with all five of you. I am a doctor and one of your C.O.’s damn it!”

Trowa pulled his arm free easily as he stood, placing a gentle hand on Sally’s shoulder. “Quatre will want to stay, but I can handle him.”

“And Heero?” Sally questioned knowing Quatre listened to reason much better then the other fearless leader of the Gundam Pilots.

Trowa smiled a knowing smile, “You know one of us  _always_ stays Sally.”

“All right use logic damn you,” Sally smiled patting Trowa’s hand. “You’re a good boy so keep a brotherly eye on him, at least I’ll know you are not doing anything foolish. Oh, and do remind him a doctor’s word is law?”

“Of course,” Trowa assured her, use to Sally’s out bursts when they did not listen, which happened a lot really.

“I’ll be back later then,” Sally shook her head and walked out muttering about men as she did so.

“See scary,” Duo commented shivering, looking up when Trowa turned frowning at him.

“Why did you do that, I told you before you are safe here?” Trowa demanded, if Duo trusted him then why did he not believe him?

“I want _you_ here, _you_ make me feel safe,” Duo answered, Trowa did not sound completely happy with him.

Trowa frowned not sure what to say, “Duo, Sally is…”

“Not you,” Duo said cutting him off feeling a little guilty, that seemed to be happening a lot today to him. “I know, but I can’t sleep when I’m scared.”

Trowa closed his eyes rubbing the bridge of his nose, “You and Quatre can both be so stubborn at times.”

Duo was not sure how to take that comment, but since it did not sound like a straight insult he let it go. “Yeah Sister Helen had her hands full.”

Trowa sighed sitting back down, long legs crossing absently, “I bet.”

“Are you mad at me Trowa?” Duo knew he sound like a child, and a begging one at that, but the thought of the other being mad upset him more then he thought it would.

“Hm? Oh, no Duo just thinking,” Trowa answered crossing his arms as he watched Duo sigh in relief, frowning in thought.

“About what?” Duo asked knowing it had to be something unpleasant to produce that frown.

“Heero,” Trowa admitted, knowing Duo would not understand what he meant, but just saying their leader's name anyway.

Duo frowned, the tone suggested there was a good reason behind it, but he did not know who Heero was let alone the reason, “Why?”

“He’ll probably want to stick you in Zero,” Trowa answered not sounding all that pleased with the idea. Duo shivered this Zero thing made his hair stand on end but he did not know why, frowning when Trowa shook his head with a tired sigh. “This will lead to a headache.”

Duo hung his head, “I’m sorry I’m causing you so much trouble Trowa.” He sighed softly, he could feel those deep eyes on him; “Maybe you should have stayed at home with your girlfriend, and not bothered with me.”

“My what?” Trowa asked before chuckling softly, “Duo, Cathy is my older sister.”

“Oh…oops,” Duo blushed a cute shade of pink embarrassed, but Trowa’s laugh was kindhearted and amused so he smiled when the other did.

“It’s fine really, you had no reason to think otherwise,” Trowa assured him, Quatre blushed the same way it was cute.

“You look tired man,” Duo wondered just how long Trowa had been here already, and if he had been in the battle he himself had been hurt in.

Trowa raised a hand dismissively, “Don’t waste your energy worrying about me so much Duo.” Lean from leaned back wearily against the chair not so far from the wall to his right, fatigue would pass soon enough.

Duo shook his head, he had a feeling this was normal for him as well, “Whatever you say man. So you got a girlfriend or something?”

“No,” Trowa replied not the least bit surprised by the question, it was just something Duo would ask.

Duo gaped at him, that did not make any sense, “But why not, you’re hot? You too busy or something?” The guy was cute, seemed like he was pleasant company, and did not appear to be insane so he was confused.

Trowa blinked momentarily taken aback, Duo had teased him plenty of times about his looks but that had not sounded like a joke. “You could say that,” It was not a lie really, he had never really thought about it.

“I guess being a pilot is a lot of work huh?” Duo wondered about that, did they live in space or what, were they paid big bucks, the norm really.

“Yeah, but I’ve been doing it most of my life,” Trowa admitted softly, lack of free time had not hindered his other relationships.

“Piloting?” Duo frowned, that did not make sense really, but he waited trusting Trowa would explain.

“Killing,” Trowa corrected watching Duo blink, “Still feel safe alone with me?”

“Yep, you’d never hurt me,” Duo declared, confident he had been right about this young man.

Trowa frowned, “Why say that, I killed some of the people who raised me?”

Duo blinked but he believed that, “Your eyes, I can see it in them…well one anyway. Besides someone with such a calming vibe would never off his friends.” He had been lucky with his adoptive parents, he knew not everyone was.

Trowa smiled a little at Duo‘s sentimental, but still insightful, response, “Observant as always, good.”

“Trowa would this Zero thingy hurt?” Duo was pleased he had gotten a smile but the Zero was nagging at him.

“Yes,” Trowa answered softly, that was the only time one of his fellow pilots had heard him scream out like that.

“I don’t think I like this Zero thing,” Duo decided without much thought.

“He may not care,” Trowa informed him, Heero was very forceful when he wanted to be.

“Is he stronger then you?” Duo knew Trowa was strong, he had clung to his arm, but he did not know this Heero guy.

Trowa frowned, “Yes,” there was little more to say.

Duo frowned, stronger did not always mean better, “So you couldn’t stop him?”

“He is stronger but I am faster so, maybe,” Trowa frowned, he had the faster draw, but pulling a gun on his leader was an unsettling thought.

Duo leaned back against the pillows, grabbing a plate of food from the tray beside his bed, “Alright good to know.”

**I’ll Miss You Anyway**

Duo half opened his eyes thankful his splitting skull was now just a dull ache, curious he turned his head. Trowa was slumped in his chair, head resting against the wall. The braided youth could not help but smile,  Trowa really was beautiful when he was asleep, and he had stayed at his side. ‘ _Could I be in love with him and forgot? Is that why I want him near, why I feel so safe near him, why I love just watching him?’_ Eyes half closed when the door opened and a pale, fragile looking, blond walked in careful not to make any noise. Duo figured he was one of the others he had been told about so he watched him lean close to Trowa, hand resting on his shoulder, “Trowa?”

Green eyes opened at the whispered call of his name, “Hey Cat.” Trowa greeted smiling a sleepy smile at his partner, not surprised he was the first to enter the room, he was Quarter after all.

Quatre smiled at the use of his nickname, glancing at Duo for a moment before turning back to his friend, “How is he?”

“Resting,” Trowa answered sitting up with a yawn, it had been a long last few days, and he was not quite as tough as Heero.

“Thank Allah, I was so worried when Sally told us about how he was thrown from his suit like…” Quatre trailed off unable to finish his thought, eyeing his partner he asked his normal question, “How are you?”

“Just tried I promise,” Trowa assured him, patting the other’s pale hand with a reassuring smile, “The others?”

“They just wanted to give me a moment I guess,” Quatre answered, they all knew he chided his fellow pilots for pushing themselves too hard.

Duo watched a wild banged brunet walk in wearing a lose hunter tank top and Trowa’s jeans, followed by a Chinese youth in white and navy. He looked at the dark blue-eyed youth, the guy just screamed leader to him, his eyes closed fully when those dark eyes fell on him. “He awake?” Heero asked turning to Trowa since he had been here he would know.

“Yeah I am,” Duo answered sitting up, “Hey guys!” He greeted, getting a hug from the blond he assumed was Quatre from Trowa’s use of Cat. “I’m good, really Blondie.”

“We just heard from Sally Duo, you are not,” Wufei informed him voice serious, he sounded just fine though.

Heero turned to look at his partner, “The Zero fixed Trowa.” He said thinking out loud, sure Trowa had mentioned it by now.

“Heero no!” Quatre cried in protest, turning to face his co-leader and friend, “You know Duo hates the Zero more than I do.” He looked away voice sad, “You can’t.”

“We could smack him and see what happens?” Trowa suggested, getting a blink then a half smile from Quatre.

“Let me guess, I said that about you?” Duo had a feeling but it did not hurt to ask, and he really did not want the fighting to start up again.

“Yeah,” Trowa confirmed softly, he had never been sure if Duo had meant it or not.

“The Zero could be our best bet,” Heero reminded his team ignoring Trowa’s and Duo’s short conversation.

“No!” Quatre cried shaking his head, the very idea of using the Zero on Duo made him sick, Duo hated the system.

“Look,” Duo started not pleased with being ignored. “I may not know what this Zero thingy is, but Trowa said it hurts, so I think I’ll just let it come back on its own, thanks.”

“That hurts too,” Trowa said under his breath going unnoticed by all but Duo, who frowned wanting to hug his friend once again.

Heero sighed, “Duo, we do not have the luxury of time to allow it to come back on its own, if it even does. If we had known the Zero could fix this…”

“You’d what?” Duo snapped not liking where this was going at all, “You would have forced it on Trowa? He was worst of then me right?”

Heero meet Duo's icy glare with his even stare, arms crossed, “Yes to both.”

“Get out,” Duo growled fist balling, ignoring Quatre’s worried look.

“Nani?” Heero asked, he had heard Duo just fine but he did not think he had heard him correctly.

“Get out! You guys just go!” Duo screamed frustrated, he hated acting like some Soap Opera reject but he just could not take this right now.

“Duo?” Quatre questioned softly, wanting to help his friend in any way he could, Duo was very emotional, as he was, but he rarely got this upset.

Duo smiled apologetically at him, “You too Goldie Locks. Thanks for the support, but you three go fight outside.”

Wufei frowned, unsure about his math, “Three? Duo there are four of us?”

“I can count Raven Hair,” Duo informed him, getting the feeling they fought from time to time, “But Trowa _is_ staying right here.” He looked to Trowa to see if the other would protest such a decision being made without even asking, but he said nothing.

“His name is Wufei, Duo,” Quatre explained gently, “Why do you want Trowa to stay with you?” He could guess, the two had never really not gotten along, and worked well together. The fact Trowa was very protective never hurt, it made him rather endearing even to the moody Wufei.

“He makes me feel better,” Duo answered watching teal eyes blink, before the pale youth smiled a knowing smile nodding in agreement.

“This is absurd,” Wufei muttered, crossing his arms frowning at Duo, he agreed with Heero, Duo was no good to anyone as he was.

“Wufei please?” Quatre ordered gently before turning to Trowa, his partner had been through this before and he always trusted his judgment, “Trowa?”

Trowa sighed, “He is  _very_ persistent about this, but if we are voting then no.” He answered evenly, he understood Heero’s reasoning, but Duo was not like they were, he was not a childhood trained living weapon.

Quatre nodded, protective or not Trowa was also logical, “I understand. You two out.”

“Quatre?” Wufei asked in protest, he was use to the blond’s orders he was co-leader, unofficial or not, but babying Duo was foolish, just as trying to do the same to Trowa had been.

Quatre turned to Heero and Wufei soft eyes serious, he would not be fought on this, “Outside Wufei. We will fight  _outside,_ or not at all.” Wufei knew better then to argue with that tone, even Trowa could not sway him, not that he wished to that was clear, they were of the same mind on this. Nodding he walked out without further protest, allowing the blond to focus on Heero who had not moved, “Heero?”

“In a moment,” Heero answered, it was not a question Quatre frowned but walked out, knowing his friend would come after he said what he was going to say. “This foolish.” He informed both seated pilots, he knew Trowa was protective by nature as his sister was, but it was helping no one.

“'The body remembers' Heero, that was your justification,” Trowa reminded him coolly unmoved. Heero may be the physically stronger of the two, but he had never been intimidated by a stronger opponent.

“You’ve piloted longer than any of us Trowa,” Heero reminded the other meeting dark green eyes, he was a natural pilot that was why Heero had not fought him then.

“I’ve also been in his shoes, he may be your partner Heero, but the Zero might just make him worst, especially if he fights it.” Trowa remembered the Zero’s little voice and the pain of fighting it, while he did not hate the Zero he also saw no reason to use it, he had lived this long without it.

Heero sighed, Trowa, as always, had a point, Duo’s fear and hatred of the Zero could cause a negative effect. “We will run it by both Howard and Sally,” And with that he walked out.

Duo watched Heero go mind racing, so Trowa had the most experience but Heero was the leader, and that sweet little blond could be very forceful, “He’s my partner?”

“Yes, well unofficially anyway, Quatre is mine,” Trowa answered, never sure why it would matter if it was official or not.

“Then shouldn’t he be on my side?” Duo asked, it seemed Heero and Wufei wanted to force the Zero on him while Trowa and Quatre were against it.

“He wants to help you Duo, please do not misunderstand attitude?” Trowa informed him coming to Heero’s defense, their leader cared deeply for them all, but he was not always the best at showing it. “He is the acting leader, and without your memories you are useless and a liability to the unit, one we may not be able to afford if things become hectic.”

Duo nodded, he understood most of that, Heero was a tough Army dude and sometimes he came off as a cold hardass, “Justification?”

“I wanted to help, but Quatre was against it, and Wufei though I was useless,” Trowa explained simply.

“But why?” Duo could not see anyone calling Trowa useless, and if Heero let him pilot he could not have been.

“I didn’t have Heavy Arms,” Trowa had thanked Sally for taking care of his suit upon its return, she had said anytime, which was fine by him.

“He your Gundam?” Duo asked trying to figure out why it was called that, he figured there was a reason, weapon names always had reasons. Military programs and missions not so much, what kind of name was Blue Book anyway?

“Yes,” Trowa answered absently, he had piloted many suits but Heavy Arms was his favorite, it suited him.

“Who’s this Howard guy?” Duo hated to bother his friend with twenty questions, but he wanted to know why Heero had said he would ask Howard like it meant something.

“He is one of the six scientists responsible for the creation of the Gundams, and an ally of ours, he should know if the Zero can help you, if anyone can.” Trowa had spoken with Howard a few times, he had known without asking Trowa had not been chosen but he should have been. He rather liked Howard and considered him a good partner for Zechs and Duo, as different as those two were they did have a few key traits in common

Duo nodded, Howard sounded OK so he relaxed about him, “Were you this scared?”

“Yes,” Trowa admitted without thinking, it was a feeling he would prefer never feeling again in that intensity, but he doubted he would be so lucky.

“I’m sorry,” Duo felt as if he just had to say that, but he really was sorry.

“Don’t be,” Trowa informed him Duo had not been there, he could not have stopped what had to happen that day.

“You don’t care what happens to you do you?” Duo accused, he had said things before which hinted at that but know he was sure.

Trowa shook his head, it was not something he had ever bothered to keep secret, “No I don’t.”

“That’s sad, a nice guy like you shouldn’t have lost all his hope so young,” Duo knew he sounded like Father Maxwell, but it was true and tore at his heart.

“I never had any hope, or any emotion for that matter, until I teamed up with all of you,” Trowa explained, Quatre and Catherine found that so sad but he had not been unhappy. Cap had treated him well, and now he was becoming what he wished he had been, someone who had a reason to smile.

“Damn you’re fucked up…sorry,” Duo bit his lip, looking at Trowa who was not looking at him.

“It’s fine Duo, I am really,” Trowa assured him he knew he was not right, but he was what he was and it allowed him to do the job he had chosen.

“Lighten up Trowa,” Duo teased hoping to lighten the mood, he hated dark moods, he was scared and he did not want to be depressed as well.

“Cy,” Trowa corrected looking at him, left eye veiled behind his long bangs as it always was.

“Huh?” Duo asked confused by the correction but willing to wait for the other to explain.

“You always call me Tro or Cy when you tease me,” Trowa answered, it had not taken long for Duo to come up with nicknames for them all.

“I do? Do you mind?” Duo knew that was stupid, if the other mined, which was a big if, he was guessing Trowa would not have said anything. It had not been an absent comment after all, Cy made sense if he never tied his hair back like Wufei’s.

“No it…it just feels strange not hearing it,” Trowa frowned, he had never really noticed how use he was to hearing it until Duo stopped calling him it. Strange the little things one noticed when they were missed, how sentimental.

“What do I only call you Trowa when I’m being serious?” Duo asked half scoffing, that seemed like him but that would mean Trowa was a pretty nice guy to put up with that, not minding or not.

“Yes actually,” Trowa informed him smiling at the blink of surprise, memories or not Duo was still Duo, something no one had been able to say about him.

“Anyone else call you Cy?” Duo decided since he was answering he might as well keep asking, there was no harm in it.

“No,” Trowa answered the other’s were not big on nicknames, and he was not close to many other people.

Duo frowned confused, he had mentioned a sister but family did not always use nicknames, or the same ones as friends. “Not even Quatre? You called him Cat.”

Trowa shook his head, that was a more recent habit “It’s something I learned from you.”

‘ _Learned from me_!’ Duo watched Trowa turn and frown at the door, eyes darker than normal. ‘ _He can hear them? Is he a what do you call it…a New Type? Funny he doesn’t act like a monster.’_ Getting to his feet he walked over to the window, opening it, folding his arms on smooth wood, “So this is Earth?”

Trowa turned from the door, not surprise Duo was feeling restless, “The Sanq anyway.”

“Sank? Funny name. So how long will I be locked up in this room?” Duo asked watching a pair of birds fly around, it was nice here even if it did have a stupid name.

“That all depends on Sally,” Trowa answered frowning, he doubted it would be all that long.

Duo nodded recognizing the apologetic tone, “What’s a C.O. I got nothin’?”

“Commanding officer, we work for her,” Trowa was not unhappy about that outcome; Sally was a good person even if she and the others had been O.Z.

Duo nodded not overly surprised by that, “I hate being cooped up Trowa.”

“I know,” Trowa said softly, anyone who was around Duo for more than five minutes should know that.

Duo turned, “It’s a little creepy, you know all this personal stuff about me, but don’t know much about you.” He realized it sounded a bit resentful and he had not meant it to, he trusted Trowa but he did barely know him.

“So ask?” Trowa suggested not the least bit insulted by Duo’s tone, he knew the feeling, it was unsettling and Duo did not do unsettled well.

“You’d just tell me? Just like that?” Duo wanted to believe that, he really did, but he was not as trusting as he acted. He had learned long ago man was a deceitful creature, so he had vowed to never lie again.

Trowa arched an eyebrow at him curiously, “Why not Duo, I have nothing to hide form you?”

Duo leaned against the wall, breeze playing with his bangs, watching Trowa cross his arms on the back to the chair before resting his chin on them. He was just sitting there waiting for Duo to ask him anything that came to mind; it was strange, “Alright, have you ever save my life?”

“We protect each other Duo, we owe each other our lives many times over,” Trowa answered, they owed him nothing but now was not the time to remind him of that.

“I’ve saved your life?” Duo could not believe someone like Trowa would need saving, but he guessed everyone had bad days.

“A few times yes,” Trowa assured him, Duo liked to tease when he did sometimes but it was just his way.

“I couldn’t save them,” Duo muttered sadly, knowing Trowa knew who he meant, he just _had_ to.

“We have all lost someone Duo,” Trowa reminded him, true his loses were not his driving force but keeping the number from growing was.

“Who’d you loss?” Duo asked curious if that had something to do with his lack of caring.

“Cap, he took me in, taught me how to fight and pilot, I do miss him sometimes,” Trowa had not been pleased when Quatre asked if his captain had ever mistreated him. They had never been close but did not mean he did not care, Heero’s mentor had been an equally talented teacher.

“Cap…like captain?” Duo asked wondering if Trowa was a military brat like Heero seemed to be, he was not sure if he really was or not.

“Yes, he never used his name,” Trowa closed his eyes, it was one of the reasons he had never been named.

“Sorry man,” Duo could tell they had been close, even if Trowa had not felt it then he recognized it now. It made him wonder if there was any regret there, things left unsaid and all that.

“He lost, he died, that was the way a Merc had to live their lives,” Trowa commented, it was the way he still lived Gundams could not afford to lose. They had fought too hard and too long to fail now that the war was ending, Gundams were feared for good reason.

“You’re a Merc?” Duo was surprised, Trowa did not seem the type driven by money or love of death, but he could be wrong.

“Was really,” Trowa corrected, he was still getting paid to wipe out the enemy, but Mercs were more the illegal sort.

Duo nodded, made sense his friend was taken in by them so what choice had he had, good people or not, “So where you from?”

“Earth,” Trowa answered both he and Zechs were from Earth with sisters they would kill for, it was amusingly ironic to compare himself with his fellow pilots especially Zechs.

“The others?” Duo asked, he was not aware of Zechs or the other Preventers, they did not exist to him.

“Space, each a different L point,” Trowa answered leaving Zechs out, he was hard to explain without confusing Duo.

“So is this Sanq like a base or something?” Duo figured there was some reason to be there, he was just not sure what it was.

“The Sanq Kingdom is a pacifist nation which acts as the head quarters for the Preventers, a force dedicated to keeping peace in space and on Earth. Or so the PR version goes,” Trowa frowned politicians liked to talk too much.

“So we’re Preventers?” Duo liked the sound of that, stopping wars was a good way to spend one’s life if it came to that.

“We all are yes, though not all Preventers are pilots,” Most could do the basics but Trowa did not feel the need to get into that either.

“Trowa do I love anyone?” Duo now knew what he was, and how he had ended up here, now he wanted to know this.

Trowa turned looking over his shoulder, “What?”

“Do I have a girlfriend or something?” Duo wanted to know, just because Trowa was too busy did not mean he was too.

Trowa frowned, it was a logical question, “You dated Hilde for a while but that ended. If you are dating anyone right now I do not know about it.”

Duo took that as a 'I would know if you were', “Hilde…Is Hilde a pilot too?”

“Yes, and a fellow Preventer, you recruited her.” Trowa did not know Hilde all that well but what he knew he liked, she was a very determined and hard working person who smiled very easily.

“Why did it end?” Duo could tell from the tone Hilde was liked so she must have been a good person, he hoped she was not hurt or something.

“I’m not sure,” Trowa admitted, he knew a lot of what was going on but he did not know every little thing, even if it seemed he did.

Duo frowned sure he had a reason for not knowing, “Why?”

Trowa knew that was coming, but he had little to say about it, “I was here on Earth when it happened.”

“Oh,” Duo looked towards the window, “Is she here?”

“Should be,” Trowa answered replacing his cheek to his arms he had never pried, it was not his style, so he never really understood what had happened between the two of them. Duo frowned wondering what Hilde was like, how it had ended, did she hate him, all those natural things to wonder. ‘ _Maybe he’s why we broke up? I don’t think he knows…if he does he either doesn’t like me, or isn’t telling me for some reason. That I just can’t ask.’_

**I’ll Miss You Anyway**

Sadly my fellow 2x3x2 Otaku this is the end…just of chapter one promise. If you liked this one then by all means R/R my entire 2x3 collection. Hope you enjoyed this, if not the by all means tell me why as long as it isn’t something like God hates gays. If you want to preach start a church or a cult not review me, I believe in God but hey love knows no gender.


	2. Chapter 2

I did not mean to let this fic sit so long, God how often do I type that in updates? I meant to type this up sooner, but got distracted by other projects and completely forgot when I had posted this. I swear I do not do this kind of thing on purpose, though it always seems to happen anyway. At any rate here is an update, and there will likely be 2-3 more chapters depending on how I split up what I have written out. This won't be longer then 5 chapters no mater what, unless I get some serious impersonation after I have typed everything up. If you want to teasingly chide me for the long time between posting and this update feel free. See you again at the end.

 **WarNinGs** : Shounen-Ai content, Slight OOCness, Over Used Base Plot, Picking on Duo (Gomen Duo Otaku), Non Yaoi Cannon Pairings, Slight Language now and then, anything I forgot.

**Aishi Say**

“ _In this world you tried_  
_Not leaving me alone behind_  
_There's no other_ _way_  
_I'll pray to the gods, let him stay...”_

From Within Temptation's 'Memories', yes it is stuck in my head so here you go.

**2I’ll Miss You Anyway2**

“So what did Howard say?” Quatre asked, frowning slightly, Duo seemed all right for the moment at least. That could change at any time really, though Duo was not as bad off as Trowa had been. They all hoped their friend would have an easier time, even if they expressed it in different ways.

Heero turned his dark gaze to the blond, use to Quatre's more emotional and sentimental ways, so like Duo really. “He wants to study the scans tonight. Duo is close to him so he is being a bit more cautious then he may normally be otherwise, not that I blame him.” Duo was his partner as well as his best friend, two things he had never really had for most of his life.

“Perhaps we should take him home?” Wufei suggested, arms crossing loosely over his chest, Duo was is no danger of dying from his injuries, which was one of the silver linings they were all thankful for. A few bruises and scrapes were nothing new, even for normal people, and they would all feel better if they could keep an eye on their healing friend.

Sally sighed softly, looking from one teen to another feeling more helpless then out of place. Heero was in 'commander mode', as Duo loved to call it, Quatre was concerned, Wufei was outwardly somewhere between the two. “Well Wufei familiar surroundings can help, and I can't do much more for him, so if he wants to go home you are free to take him.” 

Quatre nodded absently, thinking back to Trowa, who was just as stubborn, “He might not...”

“He seems to have decided to do what Trowa tells him to, and Trowa listens to you.” Heero reminded the blond evenly, it hurt that Duo had chased him off as he had. True he had not been very sensitive to his friend's dilemma, nor did the other remember their friendship, but he could not help feeling some fleeting jealousy towards Trowa. 

Quatre bit his lip uncomfortable with the thought of using one friend to control another, even if Heero was right. “I agree _only_ because I believe Duo should be home like Trowa was, otherwise it would be a no.” 

Heero bowed his head, dark eyes closed, “I understand Quatre, however Duo likes you two right now or I would go myself.” Now was not the time to fight with Duo, once he was well again they could talk about things.

“It's all right Heero,” Quatre assured his melancholy co-leader, Duo knew Heero cared even if he could remember that right now.

“I'll go with him, just to check on him one last time,” Sally volunteered, there was little else she could do for her boys.

Wufei frowned as the blonde pair reentered the room they had just left, “If the Zero will work we should use it. You forced it on Quatre.”

“I had no other choice, he pleaded but it had to be done.” Heero admitted softly, glancing at the door, he could still see those fearful eyes, hear the pleading, it was not something he enjoyed remembering.

“Duo will get over it,” Wufei was sure Duo be livid at first, as any of them might be, but being back to normal should be enough to calm him down, eventually.

Heero turned to his fellow Space Born Asian with a questioning frown, “Would he?” 

Wufei frowned looking down, Duo did hate the Zero more then anyone else did, “I'll do it, we fight anyway.” 

“Let's go,” Heero replied, not giving or denying consent, he was still not sure what he would do if he felt forced to choose. 

**2I’ll Miss You Anyway2**

“Hey Quatre, so?” Duo knew the blond had returned with some decision made, he was the co-leader of their merry little band. It was strange how he had no problem seeing the fragile looking blond giving orders to those far more dangerous then they both were. 

“Trowa?” Quatre said getting his partner's full attention, ignoring Duo's greeting for the moment. Sally moving towards the wall where she kept supplies in the cabinets, leaving the teens to talk amongst themselves. 

“Yeah?” Trowa responded, head tilting slightly at the blond's ignoring of their friend, frowning when his partner whispered quickly into his ear. Nodding slightly to himself as the blond pulled away, “Makes sense.”

“Duo would you like to go home?” Quatre asked turning from Trowa to his other friend, violet eyes were confused but curious. 

“Home?” Duo had been wondering what that place would be like, his past homes were ash and dust now.

Quatre nodded, Duo was unsure but not fearful, “Yes, you will be perfectly safe there.”

“Trowa?” Duo asked turning to the pilot he trusted the most, not that he mistrusted the blond, the guy was not the type to be a good liar. He wanted the other's opinion, he trusted the other's opinion even if he was not entirely sure why. 

Trowa shook his head, arms loosely crossing, “I won't tell you what to do.” 

Duo allowed himself to smile slightly, the guy knew how to answer a question, “Are you coming too?” 

Trowa frowned slightly as he considered the question, it was no surprise Duo wanted to know his plans, “I can.”

“You have to, _please_?” Duo really did not want to go anywhere without the stoic green-eyed teen nearby, he was not sure if his nerves could take it. “The Zero scares me,” Reaching out he hugged the other's arm, feeling better once he laid his cheek on a soft sleeve. 

Quatre smiled slightly when his partner gave him a questioning look, Duo clingy to anyone outside of teasing was unusual. “I know Duo, the Zero scares me too. Howard is making sure it is not a risk if you want to use it.” 

“Want to use it?” Duo repeated as he looked up, he liked the use of if and want. Letting go of Trowa's arm he focused on the blond, the guy was so understanding. 

Quatre nodded, Duo was a curious person by nature, just like Trowa. “Duo we are you friends, we all love you, and we all want to help. Please try not to worry?” 

“I want to go home!” Duo sobbed, clinging to the blond this time, he wanted to believe him as well.

“shh...I know you're scared but home is safe, we'll protect you,” Quatre soothed, stroking Duo's long braid. They would hopefully not have to fight as they had when Trowa had been in Duo's place, no one but Heero could come close to Trowa's muscle memory when it came to fighting and killing. 

“You smell pretty,” Duo murmured, feeling better now, sometimes you just need a good cry end of story. Quatre blushed at the comment, frowning at Trowa when he just chuckled softly. 

“Hello again Duo,” Sally greeted as she walked up to the trio, pill bottles in hand. “These are for headaches, and these are to help you sleep if you need them.” 

Duo looked up at the dark blonde, she was not so scary anymore, “Thanks Sally.”

Sally patted her normally cheerful friend's head, “Thank me by resting.” 

Duo nodded, resting sounded like a plan to him, “Yes ma'am.” 

“That's our Duo. I'll have Howard send his findings to you. If you need me call, but you should get going now.” 

 **2I’ll Miss You Anyway2**  

“This is all mine!? Really?” Duo cried blinking, he had never had a room this big, let alone one that was his alone. It made sense he would have a huge room considering the size of this house, how had he made friends with this rich kid anyway? Were they friends simply because they had both ended up with a Gundam for whatever reason? 

“Yes Duo, this is your room,” Quatre answered smiling, Duo happy and excited was contagious, everyone preferred him happy. Duo turned to look at him once more, he would enjoy exploring his room soon enough. “Trowa's is at the end of the hall on the left, mine on the right if you need us.” 

Duo nodded, made sense Quatre would answer that unasked question, when the blond turned to leave he stopped him, “Hey Cat?” 

“Yes?” Quatre asked turning back to Duo, not surprised he wanted to say or ask something more.

“Do you think I should use the Zero?” Duo trusted the blond's judgment, even if he was still practically a stranger. Trusting his gut had always been his way, and his gut liked these people, which made sense since they were his friends. 

Quatre sighed softly, the Zero was not his favorite subject. “Duo I'm and Empath so I can feel you, and it hurts, but the Zero is _extremely_ powerful. If you fear it you should not use it.” 

“You're a New Type?” Duo frowned slightly, that did not seem as surprising as it likely should have, half remembering things was strange. 

Quatre nodded, there was no reason to lie to his friend, “Yes. I know having your memories return slowly hurts, and so will the Zero, and that is scary but you are not alone." 

“You're a real softie Cat, it's cute,” Duo grinned at the blond, he was adorable like a big kitten. 

“Trowa thinks so too, he loves teasing me about it,” Quatre had gotten use to it but at first he had blushed every time, which had only been encouraging. Duo had enjoyed teasing him to no end about it, Trowa was more subtle about it.

Duo frowned, looking away slightly, “You two are close huh?” 

“Yes,” Quatre answered simply, it was no secret after all. 

“oh..,” Duo looked away in thought, it really should not surprise him. 

Quatre frowned slightly at Duo's change in mood, he did not need powers to sense it, “Duo?” 

“It's cool,” Duo dismissed, figures and empath would notice his change in mood faster then a normal person. 

“What is it?” Quatre knew something was wrong, and sometimes Duo would talk after a bit of prompting. 

Duo sighed softly, turning his dark stare back to the blond who looked concerned, “Nothing just...I've forgotten so much. I'd like to be alone for a little while.”

Quatre nodded, everyone needed some alone time now and then, “I'll be downstairs if you need me.” 

Duo smiled, understanding friends were a nice thing to have, “Thanks.” 

 **2** **I’ll Miss You Anyway** **2**  

“Yes I know what I said, but somethings come up. No it's not work related.” Trowa looked up when Duo walked into the room, nodding to his friend in greeting. “Duo's hurt. He lost a decade. I don't know.” Duo sat down on the foot of the bed, watching Trowa closely, not sure who he was talking to, and not about to interrupt him just to ask. “I'm sorry Cathy, but I'm needed here. He's all right, I will.” 

“She mad at you?” Duo asked unsure, he doubted Cathy was anyone but the sister, who he knew little about. 

Trowa sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Is often is. So what brings you here?”

“Cat told me where your room was,” Duo explained rather then really answering the question. Trowa nodded as he loosely hugged his knees, clearly in no hurry to hear his answer. “Did I often come to you?” It felt normal to be here, so he assumed this was not the a place he avoided. 

“I'm a good listener Duo, sometimes your mask breaks.” Trowa answered, not sure he would say Duo came to him often for reassurance. Duo enjoyed working on his sense of humor, they spent a lot of time together professionally or privately. 

“My Mask?” Duo questioned, Trowa had not exactly said yes or no, relieved Trowa remained perfectly calm. As long as the other was calm Duo felt reassured, Quatre was more openly emotional so him acting concerned was not as worrying as Trowa acting the same way. 

“You hide behind your happy smile, though you are an easygoing person.” Duo and Quatre were the 'happy' ones, which caused the others to be protective of them. Trowa watched people, he always had, and always would, and he knew Duo pretty well after these few years. 

Duo nodded to himself, he couldn't argue that summed him up very well, “And you?” 

“My control is my shield and my mask,” Trowa answered evenly, he had already told Duo he could ask anything. 

“Heero is like you?” Duo commented, only half asking, he had gotten that impression and wanted to know if he was right. He really did not want to assume a lot about these people who were his friends, even if he did not remember them all clearly. 

Trowa nodded, Duo's insights were still rather on point, “Yes, but we are not the same.” 

“Trust me I've noticed,” Duo informed his friend half teasing, it was nice to know he had been right. “He's all intense I think it's coffee…is it coffee?” 

“Maybe,” Trowa answered with a shrug, use to Duo joking around, it suited the braided teen. 

“Home is much better. They say familiar places feel different you know? This place feels warm, safe...homey.” Duo knew he was rambling a little but was fine with it, Trowa did not act like this was unusual for him. 

“Homey works, I guess, I never really got attached to a place before, though it is nice here.” Trowa now had two homes, both were different even if they both felt similar. 

Duo frowned in thought, “Moved around a lot huh? Dude that must have been a pain, never making friends.” He knew how that was, though he was not sure how he knew it. 

“No it wasn't Duo, I had no need for friends then.” Trowa had allies back then, people he trusted to not kill him, but they had never been his friends. 

“So what changed?” Duo asked frowning at his friend, this man was always surprising him, yet he trusted him completely.

“I met all of you,” Trowa answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world, and it was now. 

“That's it!?” Duo cried shocked, was it really that simple, could it be that simple? 

Trowa smiled at the cry, it did sound rather insignificant, “You all taught me I didn't have to go it alone. That I could count on people and actually get close.”

“What about Cap?” Duo asked thinking, the guy had been like his father right?

Trowa tilted his head at his fellow brunet, “What about him?” 

“He was nice right?” Duo noted the tone, it was neutral, head tilting felt perfectly normal. 

“He took good care of me, just like your adopted father, though he taught me different things.” Cap had not been abusive towards him, which is what Duo really had been asking. Foster children ended up with any short of parents, some far more monstrous then anyone he had known growing up. 

“You turned out just fine, plus you have a really cute smile.” Duo assured his friend with a wink and a reassuring smile.

Trowa arched a brow at the braided trickster, use to his teasing, “Cute?” 

“Yeah,” Duo answered, frowning when Trowa still looked at him curiously, which was also cute. “Don't girls tell you that?” Trowa was a nice guy, a little stoic maybe, but not unapproachable or was he only nice to people he knew? 

“No,” Trowa answered with a shake of his head, casual sarcasm was just a Duo default.

“Why not?” Duo asked confused, how messed up was Earth if girls did not comment on hot when they saw it, well at least a few, not everyone was as outspoken as he was. “I mean I know we are busy, but surely there are babe pilots too.” 

Trowa nodded, knowing Duo meant female not necessarily attractive when he said babe, “There are.” 

“Don't you smile for them?” Duo had no problem getting the other to smile, Quatre seemed to do alright when he tried, so he was a little lost. 

“I smile when I want to, not for anyone,” Trowa had gotten use to expressing emotions beyond anger and annoyance, it had not been as hard as he first thought it would be. 

Duo nodded, “Good, girls can get real controlling when they learn a guy will do what they tell them to.” He had the feeling Sally was like that in teasing, but she was their friend so that was different. 

“So I've noticed,” Trowa drawled crossing his arms, he did not like controlling people, Cathy and Sally joking around was just that. 

“Do I like Howard?” Duo asked changing the subject, seemed you better be a friend before you try playing diva around Trowa. All he knew was he was one of six lab coats who had invented Gundams, and would know if the Zero was safe, even if he was not a medical doctor. 

“Yes Duo, he is...unusual,” Trowa answered with a hint of a smirk, Howard was an interesting ally. 

Duo grinned, he liked the sound of that, “Sweet, I love the guy don't I?” 

Trowa chuckled at his friend's enthusiasm, “He may come by to check up on his favorite prankster.”

Duo smiled at the chuckle, leaning against Trowa's still raised legs, cheek on his denim clad knee, “I don't feel so lost anymore.” 

Trowa glanced down at Duo when he leaned against him, head tilting, “Why?” 

“Well, I don't remember a lot, but at least I know there are people who love me. That’s very comforting, to know you aren't alone. Poor Cat's worried about me...he can feel me.” Duo had no doubt Trowa knew more about Quatre's empathy then he did, they were partners after all. 

Trowa sighed softly, quite for a moment as he though on his past, “Don't feel bad, Heero seems to hurt him the most.” 

“More then you?” Duo asked turned, chin resting on Trowa's right knee, his right hand on his left. 

Trowa titled his head at the question, “Yes...why?” 

“You two just seem to be really close,” Duo answered, relived Trowa was curious and not at all defensive, he really did not want to see those beautiful eyes grow cold. 

“We're partners so yeah,” Trowa replied with a shrug, they had always gotten along a bit better then Duo and Heero. 

Duo smiled, he had to admit the blonde was endearing, “He is loveable like a kitten, or some other cute wide-eyed critter.” 

Trowa smiled, leaning back as he folded his arms behind his head, “He'd blush if you told him that.” 

Duo titled his head slightly, “He said you like to tease him about that.” He had felt a pang of jealously when Quatre had said that, he was not sure how hearing it from Trowa would effect him. 

“So do you,” Trowa reminded the braided youth, eyes closing, use to Duo. 

“You learn that from me too?” Duo cooed, not feeling as bad as he had after his last talk with the blonde. 

“Maybe,” Trowa answered, neither confirming or denying anything, Duo had been teasing him anyway. 

“Naughty Kitty,” Duo chided, lightly slapping Trowa's knee getting a smile. “Hey, I can stay like this right?” The other had not said a word, or even given him a look, indicating he was unwelcome. 

“Sure Duo,” Trowa did not mind Duo using him for a pillow, his friend was light and all joking aside harmless. 

“That's awfully nice of you,” Duo commented, rubbing his cheek slightly against soft, warm, denim, it felt good against his skin. He was more then content to stay where he was, sometimes a solid warm pillow was better then a soft fluffy one.

Trowa sighed softly, Duo and Quatre were always thanking him for such things, “It's nothing.” 

“You'd do anything for a friend wouldn't you?” Duo did not know many people that would be fine with this kind of thing, not that he was doing anything.

“Yes,” Trowa answered evenly, it was no secret even from strangers. 

Duo blinked, there was no hesitation and he did not doubt it for a moment. Rich green remind closed, if he had not just spoken Duo would assume his friend was asleep. Smiling he turned his head when he sensed another in the room, not hearing anything, “um." 

“Trowa?” Heero called, not exactly surprised to see Duo leaning against him, Duo and Quatre were both psychically affectionate people. It was something the less emotional pilots had gotten use to, it was hard to mind unless they were busy at the time. 

“Yes Heero?” Trowa prompted, he was clearly awake, and his leader clearly had come here for a reason. 

Heero frowned slightly, glancing at Duo, “I need you for a minuet.” Everything seemed all right, Duo was not screaming or in any sort of distress, a little concerned perhaps. 

“Sure,” Trowa said sitting up as Heero walked out, turning to Duo before continuing, “Will you be all right?” 

“I'm good, go on Heero needs you,” Duo wanted him to stay of course, but Heero would not have come if it was not important. Being selfish had a time and a place, and now was neither really. 

Trowa nodded, Duo was not happy but he was understandably somewhat distraught, “You are free to lay down if you want.

“Cool,” Duo knew he was blushing, but Trowa was already gone so it really didn't mater. He did lay down as invited, soft warmth instantly calming him and he smiled, mystery or not his life was pretty damn good. 

**2I’ll Miss You Anyway2**

I was originally going to make this a few pages longer, damn my slow typing from written out pages, but after years of nothing I decided to just end it here and update it now. Now that I have found the notebook I will be updating this again, probably not until August. I have a ton to type up so this will take some time to get back to. Any thoughts, suggestions, ect are welcomed. Make sure to check up on this fic for updates since I never know when I will update anything really, just plans.


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